ing him by the hand, said:

"Waters, you never yet deceived me; and, though you have come in a most
questionable shape, I must congratulate you and myself."

When this story was told at the Club, one of those listeners who always
want something more called out, "Well, and what did Waters say?" to
which Alvanley replied:

"Oh, Waters made a very _flowery_ speech, like a well-bred man."

LORD WESTMORELAND
[Sidenote: _Captain Gronow_]

When I was presented at the Court of Louis XVIII. Lord Westmoreland, the
grandfather of the present lord, accompanied Sir Charles Stewart to the
Tuileries. On our arrival in the room where the King was we formed
ourselves into a circle, when the King good-naturedly inquired after
Lady Westmoreland, from whom his lordship was divorced, and whether she
was in Paris. Upon this the noble lord looked sullen, and refused to
reply to the question put by the King. His Majesty, however, repeated
it, when Lord Westmoreland hallooed out, in bad French, "Je ne sais pas,
je ne sais pas, je ne sais pas." Louis, rising, said, "Assez, milord;
assez, milord."

On one occasion, Lord Westmoreland, who was Lord Privy Seal, being asked
what office he held, replied, "Le Chancellier est le grand sceau (sot);
moi je suis le petit sceau d'Angle-terre." On another occasion, he
wished to say "I would if I could, but I can't," and rendered it, "Je
voudrais si je coudrais, mais je ne cannais pas."

COLONEL KELLY AND HIS BLACKING
[Sidenote: _Captain Gronow_]

Among the odd characters I have met with, I do not recollect any one
more eccentric than the late Lieutenant-Colonel Kelly, of the First Foot
Guards, who was the vainest man I ever encountered. He was a thin,
emaciated-looking dandy, but had all the bearing of a gentleman. He was
haughty in the extreme, and very fond of dress; his boots were so well
varnished that the polish now in use could not surpass Kelly's blacking
in brilliancy; his pantaloons were made of the finest leather, and his
coats were inimitable; in short, his dress was considered perfect.

His sister held the place of housekeeper to the Custom-house, and when
it was burnt down, Kelly was burnt with it, in endeavouring to save his
favourite boots. When the news of his horrible death became known, all
the dandies were anxious to secure the service of his valet, who
possessed the mystery of the inimitable blacking. Brummell lost no time
in discovering his place of residence, and asked wh