of which I had felt a torment of
regret and with each of which came a hundred vain vows to myself never
to let my nature get the best of me again. I had grown old, but I could
not trust myself more than before. I even feared that some day I might
reveal voluntarily my existence to my daughter, so that a final and
terrible, unspeakable culminating evil deed should mark the end of my
career. I feared this even more than another narrow escape from
accidental disclosure, such as I had had in my first attempt to enter
the old garden on that winter night I remember so well.

At these times I have kept away for weeks and weeks, mad for want of the
sight of her. I had been forbidden liquor by wrecked organs, but now the
sound of her voice at a distance, the sight of her perfect skin was like
a draft of wine to me. Crazed with the lack of it, I always at last gave
up my struggle, and with my heart filled with the tormented affections
of a father, I went back to my watching and waiting, to my interest in
her school, her clothes, her young friends, her health, her afternoon
walks. I watched Margaret Murchie, too, with strange memories that
caught me by the throat. And ever and ever I watched the Judge. Unseen,
unknown, careful never to show myself often in the neighborhood for fear
of attracting attention, as sly as a fox, suffering like a thing in an
inferno, and no more than a lonesome ghost, I tried to determine if the
Judge were acting my part as he should--he who had taken what was mine
by the gift of God.

Chance, as you now know, threw him into a place where he was no longer a
stranger to me. He became a visitor to the "Man with the Rolling Eye,"
though I believe he used to call my automaton "The Sheik of Baalbec." It
was my delight to beat him in a battle of skill and at the same time,
from my peephole, scan his face to read his character.

At last one day he brought this young man, Estabrook.

What awakened all my sense of danger then, I cannot explain. I only know
that as this young man walked toward the machine, I realized a truth
that had never so presented itself before. My daughter was no longer a
girl! She was now a woman! Some man would come for her. And I believe I
would have been filled with hatred and fear, no matter what man he had
been.

That night I tossed upon my bed, feverish with new thoughts. I realized
that soon there would be a turn in the road of my own child's destiny. I
realized with agony which