to be true, because I have a relative who suffers from
motor-boatitis in an advanced form. He has owned many different brands
of motor boats--that is one reason, I think, why he is not wealthier; in
fact he has had about all the kinds there are except a kind that will
start when you wish it to and stop when you expect it to. His motor
boats do nearly everything--backfire, and fail to spark, and clog up,
and blow up, and break down, and smash up and drift ashore, and drift
out from shore, and have the asthma and the heaves and impediments of
speech; but he has never yet owned one that could be depended upon to
do the two things I have just mentioned.

After trying various models and discarding them, he now has one of the
most complete motor boats made. It has what is known as a hunting cabin,
it being so called, I think, because the moment anybody gets into it he
has to get out again while the owner crawls in and takes up all the
seats and hunts for something. It is the theory that one could live
afloat in this hunting cabin--and so one could if one were only a
dachshund and inured to exposure. It is plenty wide enough for the
average dachshund and plenty high enough, too, but not more than about
two-thirds long enough. If one were a dachshund one would either have to
coil up or else remain partly outdoors. Also, on board is a galley,
which would be a success in every way if you could find a style of cook
who could get used to sitting on one hole of the stove while he cooked
on the other. One of those talented parlor magicians who does light
housekeeping in a borrowed high hat by breaking raw eggs into it and
then taking out omelet souffles, might fill the bill--only I never have
chanced to see a parlor magician yet who could crowd himself and his
feet into that galley at the same time.

The principal feature of this motor boat, however, is the engine, which
is a very complicated and beautiful thing, with coils and plugs and
brakes strewed about over it here and there, and a big flywheel
superimposed right in front. It is the theory that, by opening several
cocks and closing several others, and adjusting about fifteen or twenty
little duflickers just so, and then revolving this wheel briskly with a
crank provided for that purpose, the engine can be started. It is
supposed to say chug-chug a couple of times impatiently, and then go
scooting away, chug-chugging like an inspired slide-trombone.

Such is the theory, but su