left her I was deeply in love. As I went away, I told her that I envied
the destiny of the man who would have her for his wife, and my
compliment, the first she had ever received, made her blush.
After I had left her I began to examine the nature of my feelings towards
her, and they frightened me, for I could neither behave towards Mdlle.
C---- C---- as an honest man nor as a libertine. I could not hope to obtain
her hand, and I almost fancied I would stab anyone who advised me to
seduce her. I felt that I wanted some diversion: I went to the
gaming-table. Playing is sometimes an excellent lenitive to calm the
mind, and to smother the ardent fire of love. I played with wonderful
luck, and I was going home with plenty of gold, when in a solitary narrow
street I met a man bent down less by age than by the heavy weight of
misery. As I came near him I recognized Count Bonafede, the sight of whom
moved me with pity. He recognized me likewise. We talked for some time,
and at last he told me the state of abject poverty to which he was
reduced, and the great difficulty he had to keep his numerous family. "I
do not blush," he added, "in begging from you one sequin which will keep
us alive for five or six days." I immediately gave him ten, trying to
prevent him from lowering himself in his anxiety to express his
gratitude, but I could not prevent him from shedding tears. As we parted,
he told me that what made him most miserable was to see the position of
his daughter, who had become a great beauty, and would rather die than
make a sacrifice of her virtue. "I can neither support her in those
feelings," he said, with a sigh, "nor reward her for them."
Thinking that I understood the wishes with which misery had inspired him,
I took his address, and promised to pay him a visit. I was curious to see
what had become of a virtue of which I did not entertain a very high
opinion. I called the next day. I found a house almost bare of furniture,
and the daughter alone--a circumstance which did not astonish me. The
young countess had seen me arrive, and received me on the stairs in the
most amiable manner. She was pretty well dressed, and I thought her
handsome, agreeable, and lively, as she had been when I made her
acquaintance in Fort St. Andre. Her father having announced my visit, she
was in high spirits, and she kissed me with as much tenderness as if I
had been a beloved lover. She took me to her own room, and after she had
informed
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